Einstein once said, “I have no special talent. I’m only passionately curious.” When you observe the life of other wise people, often you’ll see them following in the footsteps of this remarkable man.
Self-made millionaire Steve Siebold observed 1,200 of the wealthiest people and revealed through his study that they all nourished their curiosity: they read. Actually, if we zero in, we can see that the vast majority of these successful people don’t really read for entertainment, novels for instance. They read purely for education.
We all possessed this level of curiosity as children, yet as we grow older many of us lose it.
How do we lose curiosity?
Curiosity is a strong desire to know or learn something. It enables us to understand ourselves and the complex world around us.
When you were four years old, you asked some 300 questions a day. But while growing up, most of us develop fears around asking questions. Why? Because our teachers, friends, and parents judge us negatively by saying things like “That’s a silly question,” or “Stop asking questions!”
So instead of being perceived as stupid, we learn to swallow our questions and turn our focus towards supporting their needs. Our curiosity begins to diminish.
Life is a battlefield, full of unexpected missiles. Your significant other decides to break up with you. You lose your leg in an accident. Your friend tells you that he cannot give you back a big chunk of money that you lent to him. You fail to pursue your desired career and find yourself amid an emotional breakdown.
What can protect you from these deadly missiles? The radar of knowledge. The more knowledge you have, the more effectively you can respond to these sorts of events. And what makes you gather this knowledge? Curiosity.
Yet, as you and I both know, life can be pretty brutal. It bombards us with so many missiles that while dodging, while surviving, many of us don’t get a chance to sustain our curiosity to a greater degree. Most of us limit our interests to occupational aspects, for example, to learn a new method or software at work.
But this is problematic as the areas beyond our career—health, relations, emotional wellbeing—become vulnerable and, in turn, we trap ourselves into perpetual suffering.
When I see people wounded on the battlefield, my heart goes out to them. Not because they’re emotionally suffering—as I believe that suffering is the metamorphosis that’s vital for a caterpillar to become a butterfly and to fly free; vital for growth—but because they don’t seek new ways to overcome their suffering. They stop being inquisitive. Rather than making a shift in their beliefs, they continue to make the same mistakes over and over again.
I don’t want to labour this point any further as you get the idea. So then what can we do to upgrade our radar? Well, we have three ways. Let’s consider each in turn.
1. Ask questions
A Buddhist friend once told me that to be wise is to be a child again. It’s about unlearning a lot of misbeliefs. And I think it’s true. If we want to live a more fulfilled life, then learning and unlearning must happen in parallel. We need to listen to the child within and we need to listen to the questions they ask.
There are two types of questions: inner and outer.
Inner questions pertain to things that happen within you: What are my values? What are my weaknesses? What brings me joy? What is my life purpose? What would I create or change about my life if fear wasn’t an issue? These questions help you understand yourself better, and that’s more than half the battle won because the insights you draw out of them allow you to make favourable decisions much, much faster.
In contrast, everything outside of you is, well, outer: Why do battery letters skip from A to C? Are we living in a simulation? Why can’t you tickle yourself? How do trees communicate with one another? Why do most snooze buttons only give you nine more minutes of sleep? What questions can help infuse more fun into your conversations with others? And so on.
You see, when you stop asking such questions, your growth will decelerate compared to those who do. You won’t be able to know what you need to know, and you’ll probably be perceived as ignorant by those who ask.
2. Read
You’ll be able to find some answers online and some through chatting with your cat. But you will realise that there’s one avenue that will help you the most by far: books. Good books don’t just inform you, but they magically transform your life.
This is why many successful people tend to read a lot of them. Bill Gates reads 50 books per year (about 1 per week). Warren Buffet read 600-1000 pages a day when he began his career in investing. Elon Musk learnt to build rockets through reading books. Mark Zuckerberg reads two books per month. Mark Cuban, 3 hours every day.
The study carried out by Tom Corley, author of Rich Habits, reveals that wealthy people read for personal growth (self-improvement books, biographies, articles) and not for entertainment (magazines, novels).
I keep a running list of books that contains recommendations from people whose opinions I value. This list then gets prioritised based on my immediate needs or interests. For instance, if I want to get better at taming my unhelpful emotions then a book on the topic from a credible source—which could be a psychologist or a philosopher or a scientist or a spiritual teacher or anyone who I’d be drawn to—is what I’d consider.
To ensure the credibility of the author, I carry out my own research, which is usually quick, by reading their book reviews and summaries, and by watching their videos. A few books remain in the sieve and don’t make it to my hands.
Most of us live relatively busy lives, so it’s natural for you to say that you don’t have time to read. Well, one way to overcome this hurdle is to integrate it into your daily routine. I use two hours of work-commute to read. That’s 10 hours of reading per week, 520 per year. Another way is to reduce activities such as TV- or phone-time.
While reading a book, often you’ll find that you’re on a date with the author. Spending time with someone who played a significant role in changing the world you live in today, or perhaps even someone who’s your hero.
When I’m at a dinner table with Socrates or Gandhi or Ram Daas or Bréne Brown, my heroes, I try to be completely present with them. I chat with them—in the form of highlights and notes—and gently vocalise anything that I don’t understand.
After I finish reading the book, I prune and extract essential knowledge. If the book is dense with wisdom then I go the extra mile to summarise each chapter. All of this helps me to revise the musings without having to go through the whole book again in the future. But more importantly it helps me to internalise the information.
Each piece of information is a numbered-dot on the paper. Sometimes it’s good to connect the dots so that you can appreciate the complete drawing. To do this, I keep what’s called a commonplace book where I synthesise and categorise all the information from various sources. I use a slightly tweaked, and digital, version of Ryan Holiday’s method. These drawings, the connected pieces of wisdom, support me with my writing, talks, and workshops; and, of course, they help shield others and me against missiles.
3. Pursue interests
There’s nothing like a hobby. It’s the best way to fulfil your curiosity, learn and master skills, and potentially even create an income, all while having fun!
I have a few long-term hobbies: playing sitar, writing articles, and helping people live more fulfilled lives. The skills that I acquire in one area assists me to solve practical problems in another.
For instance English is my second language. I recognised that I wanted to improve my writing. So a year ago I hired a mentor, set myself a measurable—and ever so slightly ambitious—goal, and begun the whole process. This was a pretty big challenge as my entire education, including university, had taken place in my mother tongue. Writing articles in English often felt, and still sometimes feels, like writing in Hieroglyphics.
Looking back, having published over twenty articles, I can say that it’s been one of the most profound pastimes I’ve ever pursued. Not only have I significantly improved my writing skills, but also learnt and upgraded several meta-skills—such as persuasion, critical thinking, analytical reading, psychology, public speaking, and so on—that I regularly apply to my main profession of UX Design and other areas of life. By the same token, the learnings from my occupation have supported me to recruit some of the best mentors.
All I really have to do is to remain open, remain curious, and will myself to carry out small experiments. If a friend suggests rock-climbing then I say yes, and try it out for a few days. If a colleague suggests taking an ice-skating course then I tag along. On the journey, I connect with entirely different communities and people that create abundant opportunities for growth and joy.
Over to you
At the age of 22 when I’d moved to London all alone, I carried two things in my pocket: a couple of hundred dollars (which I’d borrowed) and the responsibility to provide for five family members.
Presently, I have an occupation that I love, and most people in my field would dream of; I own a few properties; I’ve travelled to over 50 countries; and for the past two decades, I’ve been volunteering to help people infuse more joy in their lives. I genuinely believe that if it weren’t for curiosity, I wouldn’t have been able to do what I have.
So, Einstein, you’re right. I actually had no talent yet I’ve always been, and will continue to be, passionately curious.
As we’re going to part ways shortly, I’m tempted to invite you to a small experiment: See if you could identify an aspect of your life that you’d like to improve. Then read a book that will help you on your journey, 30 minutes for seven days. Is that doable? Go on, say yes!
Thank you for reading. I wish you luck. 🙂